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    reminisce

    7/18/11

    y won't you understand.

    Happy Birthday, Lee Taemin! Although you aren’t considered legal yet, you’ve reached the age when you can say that you’re not a child anymore, but transforming into an adult. When you can complain and say you’re a man when others call you a baby. But even if you grow older, you’ll still forever be a kid at heart. That’s what why you’ll be one of the brightest adults of your age, even later on. Because you’ll always have in mind playing, and having fun, and smiling, and being optimistic, even during the hardest of times. And that’s what will bring you lots of success and joy later on. You’re one of the most amazing persons I know. Ever since I saw you for the first time, through a computer screen, I knew you had something special. And I don’t regret spending almost 3 years of my life trying to get more and more about you, but I’m actually proud of myself, because you’re worth it. You’re worth every single tear, every laugh, every clap, every cheer, everything. You are the one that pushed me forward to change my life, when I was at my worst, I looked at you, and saw how enthusiastic you always were, hardworking, always wanting to get to know more, to do something new, never giving up. You changed me in what I would say, a better person, more colorful, probably brighter, that finally found something to live for. Because what’s life if you don’t actually have something to live for? You are the one that helped me find my dreams, discover what I can and what I can not, and I can only say, thank you. My love for you grew deeper and deeper by the day, and even if sometimes it made me drift apart from the real world, I don’t complain, because you are here. I will never forget the first video I saw of you, the first picture, the first time I cried for you, but especially, the first time I saw you, and the first tear I shed when I had you before my eyes. Being a fan for such a long time, seeing you was more than a dream, almost an impossibility. While others had it easily, I didn’t, and I was so afraid that it would go away. The first time SHINee went on stage at the concert, I was only looking for you..and I thought I was such a bad fan, but I wanted to see you so much. And when I did, I was so shocked, that I only realized what was happening later, and I started crying. During the other songs, I was only looking for you. I couldn’t explain what I felt, it was like you were so far away yet we were so close. I will never forget the first time our eyes met, and the last time I saw you, that completely changed my mood, and that proved me the influence you can have on me. I love you, I love you so much. Being in love with a celebrity can bring no good to anyone, but I am convinced that I love you. I may not be (anymore) the type of fan that would say it 24/7, because I had my phase, but my love for you can’t be compared to anything. No matter who I was with, I was always thinking of you..even during the hardest of times. We grew up together, and as I knew you more and more, I learned to shove away jealousy, and bitterness, and be happy whenever you are as well. Even when many say the type of guy you might be, the bad traits, I overlook them, or they don’t even matter to me. I never ignored them, but this never meant I would love you less. No one is perfect, right? I love and respect you for what you are. Not necessarily for the image you show to fans, but for the boy behind the scenes. Not for the manly boy that everyone sees, but for the cute playful guy. Even though what I am wishing for will never be real, I always wish for you to be loved, by everyone. I want you to receive as much love as possible, from anyone, and even be in love, because I want you to experience the feeling. I want to see that sparkle in your eyes that would only mean absolute happiness. You are a strong guy, maybe stronger than you think. You’ve always been, since that moment when you cried on the radio, able to hold your tears and replace them with laughters. You are not emotionless, but maybe you want to hide your weakness from everyone? Don’t do it, because everyone will still love you. As much as your hyungs love you as well. Continue doing what you like, because we’ll always be next to you supporting you. And even when other fans would leave you, I would still be here cheering on you, no matter what happens. Because I know you are an extremely good person, someone worth loving, and I would be a fool to leave you alone. I always thought we were sort of connected, ever since I started to be your fan, to now, we have so many similarities, that it even scared me at one point. But sometimes it makes me think I’m not just an ordinary fan, and I may just be my delusion actually, but I like living like this. I can’t imagine my life without you, and it hurts when I’m thinking that at some point, I have to break this connection, and come back to reality. I miss you so much, so so so so much, I want to see you again..because that wasn’t enough. I don’t even know how to explain it. You helped me to find back my passion for dancing that I lost many years ago when I went into being ‘dark’. When I met you, you didn’t only change my image, but also my personality..you made me be a better person, and go back in time, finding the good things in my  life. And I thank you again, so much. Because thanks to you, now I have a reason, and I’m working hard for it. Whenever I feel down, I will look at you, because you are my inspiration, my biggest inspiration. Now, to you, this is YOUR day. Don’t let ANYONE ruin it, and enjoy it to its fullest! Stay surrounded only by the ones that love you, and I hope you’ll get to see your family too soon, to celebrate with them too. You deserve the best in the world, Lee Taemin. You’ve done everything you did, you sacrificed so much, and even behind that strong image you show everyone, I know that without your loving hyungs, it would have been hard. But you have them. You have your fans, your friends, your family, that will always love and support you no matter what. You are so loved, Taemin, you may not realize it, but you’re to me, the most wonderful person on Earth. Your less perfect traits always made me love you more, rather than the perfect ones, because it shows who you truly are, that you aren’t flawless, but you are human. And I love you as you are. From your dorky personality, to your amazingly big talents which you are improving more and more every day, to finally your angelic looks, you are amazing. You are a gift from God, to your parents, family, friends, fans, everyone. You are not an ordinary person, you are someone special, very special. And I consider myself so lucky to have met you. I couldn’t love a better person, because you’re everything I would have wished for. And even standing from afar, I am happy. Always praying for your happiness and health. Please cherish this day to its fullest, celebrate it with the closest ones, and never forget that you’re very loved! God bless you, and I wish you the best in the world, all the luck, the love, the health, may go to you, because you deserve them all, you deserve everything. You’ll forever be my Number 1.  I love you, Lee Taemin, and, Happy Birthday!!! Thank you for everything, thank you for being born.  

    Alright, nothing much happen. my schedule fr lastweek was artartart, took up 3/4 of my time -.- tired much.
    Ate lunch and many snacks but im still freakin' hungary, omg. ok, bye !!

    follow me @ wishingdusttx !! thanks :-) x